Here are some rules to live by on a first date:
- keep an open mind
- be on your best behavior
- allow yourself to be yourself
- always have money to pay your way
- find a way to connect with your date
- share enough about yourself but not too much.
Dates are not always going to go your way so don’t be surprised if it does not work on your first couple of tries. You realize your date is going bad if your date is a jerk, conversations are dull, and you feel no connection with your date. When a date is not for you there are two main choices; first choice is to end the date early, and the second choice is to stick it out for the remainder of the date and never call the person back again.
When going on your first date you should always keep an open mind. Do not close yourself off to the possibilities of getting to know someone before you judge your date. If you have a type and this person does not fit the mold do not immediately disregard your date. You may find that you have a lot in common with your date. For example, I am attracted to tall men, does that mean I should eliminate dating all short men? No, because there are too many good intelligent, sweet men, who are short. I have gone on dates with short men and enjoyed myself. I had at least a second date with these men. It was because I kept an open mind.
Be on your best first date behavior.
Act cordial with your date. Take the date like a job interview. You are trying to see if the date is the right fit just like you would see if the job is the right fit. Know your selling points and sell yourself. Treat your date as you would want to be treated. Present yourself to your fullest. Keep a positive attitude about yourself and your date. When I go on first dates I try to be friendly without being overly friendly. I allow myself to have a good time.
Allow yourself to enjoy the date by enjoying the moment that you are experience. Do not overthink everything or second guess yourself. If you know that you are quirky, let it show a little. Do not lie about yourself to fit a mold. It is hard to do but you must try to relax on a first date. You must put trust in yourself and a little trust in your date as well to let your real personality shine through. On dates, I tend to be shy, however, I make myself a good listener and pick up on what my date is saying and talk about some of my dates interest and then express my interest.
Always have money to pay your own way.
If you do this, you will have less pressure on you and your date. Having money of my own always makes me relax more. Although it would be nice if the man picks up the first check you should not expect it to be done for you. It is also embarrassing if your date asks you to cover your part of the check but you do not have the money. He might feel you are just expecting a free meal ticket out of him.
Find a way to connect with your date.
Find some common ground to connect with your date. Find some common ground to connect with your date. Express some of your interest and see where it leads. If he or she picks up on what you like then, he or she is showing interest in you. Ask your date what their interest are and see what you have in common. Find something to do that you both love. If you are both film junkies, then go check out the movies. It you both like to work out then hit up a gym. If you both like sports, then checkout a sporting event. If you both like musicals check out a Broadway show. Finding common ground will give you something to talk about with your date.
Share enough about yourself on the first date but not too much.
Again, take it like an interview. Put your best foot forward without bearing all. Avoid bragging too much, or saying too much to fill empty spots in the conversation. Do not worry chances are the conversation will pick up again. Whenever I feel too much information coming out for the first date I tell myself to stop and breath. Let your date do some of the talking. If you realize your date is a jerk, then chances are you are not going to have a good date. Be prepared for the worst and maybe it will be easier to get through. All first dates are not going to have award winning personalities. A sign to be aware that your date is a jerk is if he or she shows you little or no respect. Make a mental note of his behavior and move on.
A date might be going bad if the conversations are dull. You have already tried to talk about each of your interest but there are no signs of any common ground or spark between the two of you. Be aware if your date adds nothing to the situation. The chances are you need to move on to another date. If you feel no connection with your date, then you are probably not having a good time. Sometimes it takes time to build chemistry but that is not always going to be the case. If you feel there is no way you are ever going to have chemistry with this person, then move on. Be aware, if the person does not try to connect with you, or they try overly hard yet there is still no connection.
When you realize that there is just no chance of the first date working out you can cut it short. You may try saying that you are busy and need to attend to your other duties. Make it clear that you are not interested in getting together for another date. The other option is that you stick the date out to the end and you never call your date back again. This will send the signal that you are not interested.
Dating is not always easy. Give yourself credit for trying to date. If he or she is not the one do not put yourself down. It is okay to move on to the next person. If you remember the six etiquette tips and apply them to your next date you may have better luck the next time.