The pain of breaking up from your significant other can be so profound, and I know how you feel – it will never go away. But it will. Getting over an ex is doable if you choose to do it. There is no magic pill. You really do have to move on with your life.
1Embrace the fact that it is over
This is the most important part. The sooner you accept that the breakup is real and happening, the easier it will be for you. The more you keep thinking about the subject and what went wrong, the more difficult this will be.
This doesn’t mean suppress your feelings! You are allowed to be upset. Allow yourself to “feel” the pain of the breakup as this will help you get over it quicker. Talk about it to a close friend or to a therapist. Write about it. And it is OK to have those puffy eyes in the morning. Understand that pain is born big and tends to get smaller by time.Understand that this person is not a part of your life any more. Stop all the texting and calling.
2Give yourself time to understand why it didn’t work out
Staying away will allow you to see the bigger picture. People are generally reluctant to breaking up because they feel safe, even if they were trapped in a relationship that is not working out. It takes a lot of courage to walk away, and more courage to realize that it was not working out.
Staying away from your ex will allow you to see why the break up was actually a good decision. If you chose to leave, you will be able to assess whether it was the right decision or not. If the break up was not your choice, you will probably be able to see why it didn’t work out between the two of you. It takes two to tango and when one partner leaves, the other is probably pretty much aware of what happened. Most of the time, after a while you will feel relieved that someone else took the decision and the burden of breaking up off your chest.
3Ditch the memories
- Change is good and after a break up – change is crucial.
- Get rid of all those little memories lying around that will remind you of the other person.
- Return gifts that can be returned.
- Erase this person’s number, if there are no reasons to contact them.
- Think of cleaning up your clutter to give your place a little make over.
- Changing the way your furniture is arranged will help you feel that you are moving into a new phase of your life.
- Get rid of all the pictures, notes and posts. These little souvenirs will just give you a bed of pricks every time you try to chill and let it go.
4Social media stalking is your worst enemy
Now, it is perfectly normal to feel that you just need to know how your ex is doing. You probably have removed each other from Facebook friends’ list but your best friends might be more than happy to be your personal spies. Dont do that. Your friends could be trying to help you but this actually causes more damage on the long run.
If your ex removed themselves off your friends’ list, they probably did this for a reason. They don’t want you to interfere with their lives anymore, and you should respect the privacy and wishes of others, shouldn’t we? It is always the best option for you on the short and long run, since it will help you maintain your balance and sanity.
Don’t stalk your ex on social media. Don’t ask your friends to stalk them on social media. Also don’t write angry or guilt posts addressing them directly or indirectly. This will only make you look pathetic and desperate. This is true.
5Turn to your best friends for emotional support
It is OK to vent with your friends. Spend time with your best friends. Go out and have fun. You might not be ready to get into a relationship just yet, but this doesn’t mean to roll over and die. Staying alone will just feed the normal negativity associated with a break up. It is perfectly normal to feel in pain but you can choose not to slumber to it. Go on nights out. Attend some parties and laugh the pain off.
You can also go on a short trip with your friends. This will help you change the surroundings that remind you of your pain. And you never know, you might meet someone interesting.
6Take care of yourself
Taking care of yourself will help you get over the negativity and will help you beat all the sadness inside. You can actually trick your body into believing that you are feeling better.
Go buy something that you have always wanted, just don’t get over the roof with it. Pamper yourself into something that you have always been postponing like a massage session or a visit to the spa. It is OK to spend this amount of money once in a lifetime! Go for a quick and little make over, this will actually change your mood and lift up your spirits.
Engaging in a workout routine will actually boost your mood. We all know that exercise releases endorphins that help you feel better and calmer. Stick to a routine that is not so extreme so that you don’t wear yourself out.
Breaking up with an ex can be painful, but no matter what your gut is telling you, it is not the end of the world. Get up and do something about it.